Archive for the “Lactivism” Category
Officially Weaned!
Tomorrow will be two weeks since Natalie has nursed. She is 2 years and 7 months old. I had been ready to stop for a while, but feared of emotionally scarring her by weaning before she was ready. For a long time (since she was about 2) she was only nursing twice a day—in the morning and before bed. About 6 weeks ago, I stopped the morning nursing, which had become more and more uncomfortable. Natalie protested a bit, but quickly got into a routine of eating cereal with milk for breakfast.
Ending the nighttime nursing happened almost by chance. The first few nights I hadn’t planned on not nursing, but it ended up that way because we were out late and she was falling asleep in the car on the way home. Then we decided to seize the opportunity. The next few nights I went to bed early and Chris put Natalie to bed. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to miss nursing when I’m not around, but when I put her to bed, it was an assumed part of the routine. Once she was going to bed fine with Chris and hadn’t nursed in a week, I started participating in the bedtime routine again. The first night, she asked to nurse, but I told her that she was a big girl and that it hurt mommy too much. She accepted this explanation easily and went to sleep fine. Since then, she hasn’t asked at all or even mentioned it.
Now we’ve settled into a nice routine of giving her a small sippy cup of milk while we read books together, then she brushes her teeth and puts her pjs on. Then we read one last “goodnight book,” give hugs, kisses, and high-fives, then leave her to fall asleep by herself. Most nights she comes to the top of the stairs and requests something (water, a band-aid, a q-tip because her ears are itchy, etc). But sometimes she’s fallen asleep without any stalling!
I’m glad I nursed as long as I did, especially after all the problems we had in the beginning. And now I’m glad we’re done.
Comments
I realize having a blog and allowing people to comment on it leaves us open to people’s judgements. For the most part, the people who read “The Chronicles of Natalie” love us and leave supportive comments. Sometimes, though, we get hurtful comments from strangers (at least I think/hope they’re strangers). Over a year ago, someone left a comment that said something to the effect of “why are you putting your child at risk for being kidnapped by putting her pictures online for all the world to see?” We decided not to publish it. We have taken precautions as far as not publishing where we live, etc. The harsh reality is that children are much more likely to be hurt by a family member or someone they know than by a stranger.
It’s hard to become a parent. Our culture is overwrought with judgements (especially of mothers) that make it hard to for parents to feel like they’re doing a good job. Mothers are criticized for working, for staying home, for using too much discipline or not enough discipline, for not breastfeeding and for breastfeeding too long.
The most recent judgmental comment was in response to my post Tooties. The person wrote:
are you kidding? the kid is eating a cookie and still beoing [sic] breast fed, that is utterly disgusting and disgraceful!! Is she going to go to school like that?
I wasn’t really sure how to respond. Part of me wanted to just put the comment in the spam folder and ignore it. I’d love to be secure enough in my decisions to not feel defensive, but the comment rattled me. And I do feel the need to defend my own choices as a mother. And to shout, with pride….YES, I’M STILL BREASTFEEDING MY 18-MONTH-OLD DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know not everyone makes this choice. I know that some people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding—especially with extended nursing. I knew publishing that photo might have made some people squirm. Too bad. Judge all you want. The fact is that extended breastfeeding is good for kids and moms.
Breastfeeding a toddler “disgusting and disgraceful”? More like healthy and commendable!
And I’m sure Natalie will be fully weaned by the time she starts kindergarten…Hopefully by the time she has children, the our culture will be more supportive and accepting of breastfeeding.
“Tootees”
Natalie can’t pronounce the “kah” sound, so she calls cookies “tootees.” Here she is having (mommy)milk and a “tootee”….what a delicious combination!!
Adventures in NIPing
NIP = Nursing in Public
Since Natalie was born, I’ve never had a big problem nursing in front of people. I started breastfeeding in front of family and close friends right away, and before long, I was nursing in restaurants and on airplanes. My friend Jodi helped me get comfortable pretty early on while we were shopping with Natalie in tow (Natalie was about 2 weeks at the time). We were in a maternity boutique in PA and I anticipated Natalie being hungry soon. Rather than get in the car and have to stop half-way home, I said I was going to ask the store clerk if she minded me feeding the baby before we left. Hearing this, Jodi pointed out that I had the right to nurse my child and that I didn’t need “permission.” Right on.
Frankly, when Natalie is crying from hunger, my concern is getting her fed—in those moments I couldn’t care less about accidentally flashing someone, although I try to be discrete. I hope I’m successful at least most of the time.
Natalie and I have been going for walks in Veteran’s Park with some other Moms and babies from our breastfeeding group. Natalie has yet to make through an entire walk without needing to stop and nurse—even if I’ve just fed her before-hand. So I’ve gotten used to nursing her on park benches. All the benches in Veteran’s Park are in groups of three. The last time we were there, I was just about to lift up my shirt when an elderly gentleman sat down on the bench next to mine. Since Natalie was quite hysterical there wasn’t much I could do besides feed her. Luckily, either the guy was trying to be respectful or he was just very sleepy but he just sat there with his eyes closed the whole time. I was in the clear until Natalie started making very loud and obvious slurping and sucking noises as she nursed! Oy vey…
My hope is that as breastfeeding is encouraged more and more, people will start nursing in public more often, nursing will become more mainstream overall and Natalie will not understand what the big deal is when she has children.