Archive for the “Challenges” Category
Blue Eyes and a Dirty Dress
One morning last week, Natalie woke up talking about eye color. She talked about her blue eyes, asked both Chris and I what color our eyes are and then announced, “I want to wear something blue today to match my blue eyes.” Chris and I looked at each other and shrugged, neither of us knowing where she came up with that notion.
We went into her room to choose an outfit. Natalie rejected a few things we suggested, then told us that she wanted to wear her “blue tank top with the flower on it.”
I said, “Sorry, honey, but that shirt is dirty. You wore it the other day and it’s in the laundry basket.”
“You mean my tank top is dirty?” Natalie hates it when we (or anyone) uses a general word to refer to something for which there is a more specific term. Heaven forbid you call her flip-flops “sandals.”
“Yes, your blue tank top with the flower on it is dirty. You’ll have to choose something else to wear.”
Natalie buried her face in my lap. Then she stood up, looking forlorn. “I really, really, really wanted to wear that tank top!”
I could empathize completely with having a specific, perfect thing in mind to wear, only to find that it’s dirty, or otherwise unavailable. “I know honey, it’s very disappointing when the thing you want to wear is dirty.” I really didn’t think that Natalie would be so emotional about clothes this young.
Natalie said again, “I really, really, really wanted to wear that tank top!” She looked like she might cry.
Chris also expressed his condolences about the tank top and promised to wash the it that night so that Natalie could wear it the next day.
Then I spotted a suitable replacement dress in Natalie’s drawer. “Look, Natalie! What about this dark blue dress with light blue flowers? It’s soooooo pretty!!”
Chris exclaimed, “Oh yeah, that dress perfectly matches your blue eyes!!”
Oh how we miss the days of pulling any old outfit out of the drawer and dressing Natalie without protest or hassle. Luckily, Natalie caught on to our enthusiasm for the blue dress and happily put it on.
As I looked at the dress more closely, I noticed there were some spots on it. I wondered why the spots didn’t come out in the wash, then touched one. Ew. I realized that the dress must have gotten back into the drawer instead of in the hamper after Natalie wore it last, because it had splotches of crusted yogurt on it. At this point, getting Natalie dressed had already taken 20 minutes. I knew that telling her that the dress was dirty would likely incite a tantrum and make both Chris and I late to work. As much as it pained me, I didn’t say a word. So, after all that fuss, Natalie ended up wearing something that was probably dirtier than the blue tank top that she wanted to wear in the first place. Oh, the irony.
Natalie’s First Nightmare
Natalie had her first (noticeable to us) nightmare(s) last night. First she woke up at 3 am crying and saying something about monsters. I told her it was just a dream and she went back to sleep (in our bed) easily. Then at 4 am she woke us up with a loud, BLOOD-CURDLING scream. For some reason I wasn’t all that startled, but Chris screamed, too. When I asked Natalie if she had a bad dream, she giggled and said that I tried to take her pillow. Go figure. This time she and I tossed and turned for about an hour before getting back to sleep.
Stubborn
In all fairness, Natalie has been going to sleep at night really well on her own. After we say goodnight in her room, she scurries into our room and falls asleep on our bed. She’s been sleeping so deeply that when we go to bed, we’re able to transfer her back into her own bed without much trouble. Usually, she stays in her bed until 4 am or so, when she sneaks into our bed and snuggles back to sleep. Sometimes, we wake up around 6 am to find her laying in between us and neither of us have any recollection of when or how she got there. Occasionally, she crawls into our bed around 1 or 2 am, and on very, very rarely, she sleeps all the way through until 7 or so.
But then she went through a stage when she would half-heartedly try to fall asleep for about 30 seconds before appearing at the gate at the top of the stairs and demanding that one of us come rub her back or lay down with her. We would oblige, but it really didn’t help her get to sleep any faster. She would often get really fidgety or would come back to the gate again as soon as we left. After about a week of this, we started telling her (from downstairs) that she needed to go back to sleep and then ignoring her. She would stand at the gate and whine, or sometimes we’d hear her going back and forth between her bed and our bed. Eventually, there would be silence.
Tonight (well, last night by the time anyone reads this) Natalie refused to go to bed. She just sat, and sat, and sat in front of the gate until finally she passed out:
Bath Woes
The other night Natalie was adamant about not taking a bath. After a 45-minute screaming tantrum, she finally agreed to a dry bath*. We can’t really figure out why Natalie is freaked out about taking a bath. It wasn’t that long ago that we could entice her into the tub. The night after the dry bath, she actually seemed excited about taking a bath and even ran to the bathroom when it was time. As soon as the last article of clothing came off, she started crying and saying she didn’t want to get in the tub. We feel really torn…on one hand we don’t want to traumatize her, on the other hand, we don’t want to reinforce her tantrums by giving in to them. It took two of us to get her in the tub that night because Natalie’s abs are so unbelievably strong! I was holding her shoulders and Chris was holding her legs and she would not bend. She was stiff as a board—I swear it was like trying to get a cat into a cage. We finally did get her in the bath for a quick wash up. She screamed the whole time.
We can’t figure out the right course of action…We’re not sure if we give her a bath every night she will get more used to the routine, or if by insisting on a nightly bath is setting us up for a nightly power struggle and torture session. Should we back off for a while and hope that she gets over whatever has suddenly made her totally adverse to bathing? Or will waiting mean that her fear will just grow and be make bathing more traumatizing for all of us?
Today I had the idea of taking Natalie to Toys r Us** to get her a doll that she could take in the tub. We decided on this one, with the green bunny outfit. When we got home, Natalie was very excited about taking her new doll out of the box and giving her a bath.
She said, “I have to wash the baby’s armpits. Then I have to show her how to lean her head waaaaay back and shut her eyes tight, just like I do!”
I whispered to Chris, “I’m a genius!!”
But, of course, it wasn’t that easy. All was well until we took off her diaper and then she refused to get in the tub. We thought she looked conflicted, like she really wanted to get in and have fun, but was afraid or uncomfortable for some reason she can’t articulate. Since the diaper coming off seemed to be the impetus to her becoming distressed, I offered her a swim diaper. She happily put it on and got right in the tub. But she wouldn’t sit down, just stood and splashed for a while. We decided not to push it, so that she would have a positive memory of being in the bath.
Our theory is that she has some sort of infection or irritation that makes sitting in the water uncomfortable or painful. I’ll be calling the doctor first thing Monday morning.
*As frustrating as this issue has been this week, I think the photo of Natalie and Chris in the tub with no water is one of the funniest we’ve taken in a long time.
**We’ve never been to Toys r Us before. It’s a terrible place. Natalie was so overwhelmed by all the toys and lights that she wondered from aisle to aisle like a zombie. We did, too.
Bathing Beauty
Taking a bath is still not one of Natalie’s favorite activities. We have a variety of treats (bath paints, bath crayons, bubbles, etc) to entice her into the tub. She likes all the treats and seems to like sitting in the water, but heaven forbid if it’s too hot or too cold! The worst part of the bath is washing and rinsing her hair—she hates that.
Our latest trick to get her to wash her face is giving her a bubble beard. She gets a kick out of having a beard like Daddy and looking like Santa Claus. And when she wipes the beard off, her face gets clean!!
I know from these pictures, it looks like Natalie is having a great old time in the bath. As soon as the hair washing starts, she looks like this:
Lucky for us, when the horrible, horrible rinsing is over, she looks like this again:
