February « 2011 « W+J Family Blog

So Long, Family Dinners

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011 by Amy

Ever since Natalie was born, we’ve always done “family dinners,” that is, we all ate together as a family. When the girls were infants, family dinners were sometimes accomplished by me nursing a baby at the table, or one of us shoveling food in our faces with one hand while holding a cranky baby in the other. Chris and I learned to eat so fast (so as to finish before baby Natalie needed to go to bed) that even when Natalie started eating solid food, and took forever to finish, we were still done in a flash. When Miranda was a baby, she would often sit in her bouncy seat on top of the table and Chris and I would take her turns bouncing her while we ate.

Now that Miranda is older, we face the challenges of her throwing food, rubbing food in her hair, and screaming because she wants to drink out of our water glasses, which of course results in a giant mess. And even at four, Natalie is a challenge at the table. It is hard for her to sit still for the whole meal, so she often gets up to sing a song or show us a trick in the middle of dinner. What she eats and how much she eats is a constant negotiation. Instead of dinnertime conversation, the words usually coming out of our mouths are:

“Natalie, please sit and eat your food!”
“Miranda, food is for eating, not throwing!”
“Ok, Natalie a few more bites!”
“The peas want to come to the party in your tummy!”
“Miranda, this is your cup!”
“Natalie, can you pretend to be a giant eating these tiny trees?”
“Ooh, look, Daddy is taking a bite—let’s all try taking a bite together!”
“Yes, you have to try at least one bite!”

The other problem with family dinners is the timing. The kids are hungry around 5 or 5:30, but Chris gets home from work at 6:30. So I either give the kids a snack and ruin their appetites, or try to distract the hungry, cranky children while also trying to cook dinner. Miranda turns into a pumpkin between 7 and 7:30, so we absolutely have to eat when Chris walks in the door. This is difficult given how cranky the kids are while I’m cooking. It’s not easy to cook with a toddler clinging to your pant legs or while holding said toddler.

Yesterday, since it was Valentine’s Day, I decided to feed the kids early so that Chris and I could enjoy a quiet dinner after they went to bed. And the whole evening went so much more smoothly. The girls were happier because they got to eat when they were hungry, and I was happier because it meant that more of dinner got eaten because they weren’t full of snacks. Chris was happy because instead of coming home and negotiating with Natalie to eat more while ducking the food Miranda was throwing, he got to come home and play with them before bed. I was happy to be able to cook dinner in relative peace. And it was a treat for Chris and I to be able to talk and linger over dinner instead of shovel food in while wrangling the kids.

So even though we have had some fun family dinners, are saying good-bye for a while. We’ll revisit you on the weekends and more often when the kids are a bit older!
Eat the food, not your foot!
Mid dinner song and dance
Look, I ate it all!
Dinner time antics