Life Changes
Our poor website has been neglected since I returned to work full time in mid-June—I really apologize for the lack of updates! But working full time now means that our precious time at home has to be divided between two daughters, meal preparation, food shopping, laundry, chores, visits with family and friends, etc, all of which leaves little time for uploading photos and writing witty blog posts. To be honest, at the end of most days, I technically have the time to do these things, but lack the mental energy to be creative. Plus we’ve made some big decisions that will lead to some major life changes, the preparation for which has left us with even less time.
So, what are these big decisions and major life changes? First, I’ve tendered my resignation at Womanspace, where I have worked as a counselor/advocate (and most recently as the program coordinator for Counseling and Support Services) for the past 8 years. And second, we’ve decided to move to Brooklyn.
I loved my job and almost everything about it: my fantastic coworkers who are like family to me and my amazing clients, whose strength and resolve inspire me to be a better, more grateful person. I feel absolutely privileged that I got to be part of so many women’s (and a few men’s) journeys towards safer, healthier, more fulfilled lives. I think there is no greater gift than to be a major catalyst for someone healing from the trauma domestic violence and/or sexual assault. I had the honor of working with some clients for years as they went from having zero self-esteem, zero hope, zero resources and zero support systems to living rich, full lives free from abuse. But it is time for me to stop. The thick skin I developed over 8 years (a thick skin is the only way to stay sane in my line of work) got stripped away while I was on maternity leave with Miranda. When I went back to work, each story I heard sounded more horrific than the last. Call it vicarious trauma, call it compassion fatigue, or call it burn out….all I know is that I am ready to take a break from this work.
Womanspace crew More than that, I’m ready to spend more quality time with Natalie and Miranda. Working full time with one child is hard enough, but with two I really didn’t feel like I was spending enough time with either of them. Mornings were a rush of getting everyone dressed, packed up, and out the door. Evenings were a rush of getting dinner made, eating, and getting ready for bed. I’m looking forward to slowing down and having the luxury of playing, reading, and just being with the girls.
Sisters Really, who wouldn’t want to spend more time with these two?
Once I made the decision to quit my job and try my hand at stay-at-home-mothering for a while, the decision to move to Brooklyn was a no-brainer. Chris has been commuting about 4 hours a day into Manhattan for almost the past 5 years. Chris, of course, never complains, but I’ve often bitterly complained about the amount of time the commute takes away from our time together as a family. Recently, NJ Transit increased their rates, which pushed our commuting costs to over $500 a month. And lately, the trains have been subject to major delays (i.e. over an hour or sometimes as long as 4 hours) more often than usual. Moving to Brooklyn has been a lofty idea we’ve toyed with for a long time. Now that my time at Womanspace will be over as of August 20th, moving to Brooklyn became a realistic option.
So… we made it a reality! Since the last time I updated this blog, we’ve found a renter for our house and signed a lease on an apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Our new place is on 12th Street, a beautifully tree-lined street with picturesque brick and stone buildings. We will be half a block from Prospect Park and it’s Harmony Playground. We will be 2 blocks from a highly-rated elementary school, P.S. 107, John W. Kimball.
New Home: Park Slope So in moving to Brooklyn, we are basically trading space for time. It seems odd, as most of our peers are moving into bigger houses, that we are choosing to move from our 3-bedroom home to a 2 bedroom apartment with approximately half as much space. But we are actually relishing the opportunity to rid ourselves of excess stuff and live a simpler, less-cluttered, and hopefully, happier life. Because in reality, it is not our spacious house or the stuff we put in it that makes us happy. What makes us happy is to spend time together as a family.
In addition to reducing Chris’ commuting time and our commuting costs, living in an apartment will afford us more time to spend together in general. Weekends can be spent visiting museums, parks, zoos, and all the other great things NYC has to offer, because we will have less space and 1 fewer bathroom to keep clean. Although I will miss my garden and am sad to leave it after all the work we’ve put into it, its maintenance was a drain on our time and wallets.
Finally, we are confident that Brooklyn will be a fine place to raise our girls. There’s nothing wrong with New Jersey, of course, and we love our house and town, but Brooklyn has certain advantages that cannot be found in our current location. We are hoping to immerse the girls in more diversity, more art, and more music. We are thrilled about being able to instill the values of city-living (i.e. walking not driving, having less stuff, befriending different kinds of people, etc) in Natalie and Miranda.
Although we are sad to be further away from our parents and friends, we will be moving closer to numerous family and friends who live in Brooklyn. Since I will be a stay-at-home-mom, I will have lots of time on my hands to drive to NJ for visits. Certainly we do not intend to lessen the time that Natalie and Miranda get to spend with their awesome grandparents. And we just rented our house for a year. If we find that city living isn’t for us, there’s always the option of moving back!
I am excited for you and I appreciate the explanation. I hope that these many changes will leave you all fulfilled. Best wishes with all of the transitions.
Yay! It all sounds so wonderful! We’re so happy for you guys. We love getting to see the pic of the street you’ll be living on. Clara says she wants to come visit and play with Natalie there hopefully not too far into the future. Isn’t it interesting where life takes us when we have kids and start to really think about how we want things??? Good luck with the move.