Bath Woes
The other night Natalie was adamant about not taking a bath. After a 45-minute screaming tantrum, she finally agreed to a dry bath*. We can’t really figure out why Natalie is freaked out about taking a bath. It wasn’t that long ago that we could entice her into the tub. The night after the dry bath, she actually seemed excited about taking a bath and even ran to the bathroom when it was time. As soon as the last article of clothing came off, she started crying and saying she didn’t want to get in the tub. We feel really torn…on one hand we don’t want to traumatize her, on the other hand, we don’t want to reinforce her tantrums by giving in to them. It took two of us to get her in the tub that night because Natalie’s abs are so unbelievably strong! I was holding her shoulders and Chris was holding her legs and she would not bend. She was stiff as a board—I swear it was like trying to get a cat into a cage. We finally did get her in the bath for a quick wash up. She screamed the whole time.
We can’t figure out the right course of action…We’re not sure if we give her a bath every night she will get more used to the routine, or if by insisting on a nightly bath is setting us up for a nightly power struggle and torture session. Should we back off for a while and hope that she gets over whatever has suddenly made her totally adverse to bathing? Or will waiting mean that her fear will just grow and be make bathing more traumatizing for all of us?
Today I had the idea of taking Natalie to Toys r Us** to get her a doll that she could take in the tub. We decided on this one, with the green bunny outfit. When we got home, Natalie was very excited about taking her new doll out of the box and giving her a bath.
She said, “I have to wash the baby’s armpits. Then I have to show her how to lean her head waaaaay back and shut her eyes tight, just like I do!”
I whispered to Chris, “I’m a genius!!”
But, of course, it wasn’t that easy. All was well until we took off her diaper and then she refused to get in the tub. We thought she looked conflicted, like she really wanted to get in and have fun, but was afraid or uncomfortable for some reason she can’t articulate. Since the diaper coming off seemed to be the impetus to her becoming distressed, I offered her a swim diaper. She happily put it on and got right in the tub. But she wouldn’t sit down, just stood and splashed for a while. We decided not to push it, so that she would have a positive memory of being in the bath.
Our theory is that she has some sort of infection or irritation that makes sitting in the water uncomfortable or painful. I’ll be calling the doctor first thing Monday morning.
*As frustrating as this issue has been this week, I think the photo of Natalie and Chris in the tub with no water is one of the funniest we’ve taken in a long time.
**We’ve never been to Toys r Us before. It’s a terrible place. Natalie was so overwhelmed by all the toys and lights that she wondered from aisle to aisle like a zombie. We did, too.
I have no helpful feedback for the bath problem, but I certainly understand how frustrating the two-year-old mindset can be. I am sure it is rational to Natalie, but not to you. I, too, love the photo of Chris and Natalie. It seems like some kind of unorthodox therapy technique!
Without making this too long, we also struggle with knowing how much to use our physical “force” in situatons like this. Like, should we “pin” Ellie down when she refuses to change her diaper or get dressed?
Good luck!
Thanks, Lindsay. We have the same struggles with diapering and dressing, too. I’ve been known to pin Natalie down when she has a poopy diaper and can’t be convinced that it needs changing or distracted with something. Lately we’ve been getting her dressed while she’s engrossed in a Barney video. Even though I’m not crazy about her watching TV, it avoids a lot of struggling when we’re trying to get ready to get out the door in the morning.
What did the doctor say?
Thanks for the reminder, Lindsay! Between Natalie getting sick and the snowstorm, I completely forgot about calling the dr! Last night Chris realized that Natalie has had plenty of diaper rashes in the past, with no trouble taking a bath. So our theory doesn’t quite fit. Last night I gave her a bath for the first time in a few days and she asked for her swim diaper again and stood the whole time. Maybe we’ll switch to showers! I will consult with the doctor and see what she says.